5 Ways Having a Co-Parenting Agreement Benefits Children

5 Ways Having a Co-Parenting Agreement Benefits Children

In an ideal world all marriages would succeed, parents would stay together forever, and raise their children together. But, as we all know, that is often not the case. Parents separate and divorce and parenting through divorce is not only challenging for the parents but difficult for the children as well. Regardless of what age your child/children are, it is never easy for them to experience their parent’s divorce and how that will impact their day-to-day life. But, there is a way to make parenting through divorce easier for everyone involved – a co-parenting agreement. Undoubtedly, when everyone is on the same page with the same goals, it will be far more peaceful for parents and children will feel it too. Care.com explains what co-parenting looks like in the context of divorce or separation, “’Healthy co-parenting or ‘conscious uncoupling’ is divorcing or separating in such a way that you try to avoid the animosity, hurt feelings and be present for your kids,’ says Judy Graybill, a certified stepfamily coach. ‘Co-parenting is about rising above those feelings and working with your ex to both be there for your kids.’ ‘It’s a very small minority of divorced parents that can truly do collaborative co-parenting, where they work together and get along completely for the sake of the children,’ says Dr. Patricia L. Papernow, stepfamily and post-divorce expert and author of “Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships.” ‘More parents should aim for low-conflict co-parenting instead.’ You need to manage the conflict, at least when it comes to sharing the parenting duties with your ex.” Below are 5 ways having a co-parenting agreement benefits children of divorce.
5 Ways Having a Co-Parenting Agreement Benefits Children

1. Enhanced Sense of Security & Stability
When parents are not communicating well or are fighting during divorce it can be very confusing for children. Children may not understand what is going to happen next, where they will be living, who will be picking them up from school, etc. When healthy co-parenting occurs there are plans, boundaries, and expectations so that children can feel safe and secure about what is going on in their life.

2. Parents Demonstrate Effective and Healthy Conflict Resolution
Learning problem solving skills is an important thing for any child and when their children demonstrate healthy problem solving and conflict resolution children see that it can happen even between people that may not see eye to eye or even get along very well otherwise.

3. Children Experience Reduced Conflict Between Parents
No child wants to see their parents fight or wants to feel like they must choose sides. When there is a co-parenting agreement it greatly reduces disagreements and unhealthy fighting between parents which allows children to see a far more stable parental relationship.

4. Children Experience Less Stress and Anxiety
Divorce often breeds insecurity, fear, frustration, sadness, stress and anxiety in children because of conflict and unhealthy communication. When there is a co-parenting agreement that facilitates healthier relationships and communication, children will experience less stress and anxiety in their day-to-day life.

5. Children Learn How to Be Emotionally Healthy In and Out of Relationships
When a co-parenting agreement is in place children will experience a variety of different relationship facets and learn how to be emotionally healthy both in and out of relationships so that they can be in emotionally healthy relationships as adults.