Co-Parenting Without Conflict for Unmarried Parents

Co-Parenting Without Conflict for Unmarried Parents

You’ve heard the term “broken home” – a home where divorce has created constant conflict and strife, resulting in an unhealthy environment for your children. You can avoid this to create a seamless, conflict-free parenting and child raising environment through careful co-parenting that begins with open communication and succeeds through ongoing compromise.

Set Aside Your Differences

Whatever circumstances prevented a stable relationship between you as parents, you can’t let those circumstances get in the way of your goals to mutually raise children in a stable, safe environment. Work with a mediator if you have any outstanding issues you need to resolve. Work your issues out in private, through mediation, and don’t force your children to witness to any conflict between you.

Establish Clear Rules and Limits

Co-parenting when unmarried only works when parents are on the same page of the same playbook. Sit down together and talk through your respective expectations and goals as parents. Discuss what is or isn’t fair, where you expect compromise from your co-parent, where you can compromise for your co-parent. Discuss what to do in the case of unplanned events. To avoid any future misunderstandings, put everything in writing and don’t change anything without first discussing it with each other.

Always Agree to Communicate

Even if you’re parent with supervision over the children in a split parenting situation, that doesn’t mean your decisions can be unilateral. Nor does it mean that during your parenting stint, the other parent ceases to exist for your children. If big decisions come up, pick up the phone, email, or meet for lunch to talk it over. If your children want to talk to their other parent, let them. Go for a play day together or let them call to say goodnight. There shouldn’t be a wall cutting you off from each other during parenting shifts, and you should never deny your children access.

Above All, Put Your Children First

The most important thing to remember is that your co-parenting agreement is not about you. It’s not about your egos, and it’s not about your grievances with each other. It’s about understanding the mutual responsibility you have to your children. Always put your children first when making decisions, rather than yourselves. Your every decision affects their health and well-being, and you can’t afford a misstep because you couldn’t bury an old grudge between you.

If you’re looking for more help on how to mediate and negotiate co-parenting, get in touch with Out-of-Court Solutions. We can be reached by email at, and we proudly serve multiple Arizona Valley locations.