3 Tips for Managing Anger During Divorce

3 Tips for Managing Anger During Divorce

Most divorces, even the most amicable, involve some degree of anger.  Individuals may not even realize how much anger is controlling their actions and choices during divorce.  Divorce mediation is one of the most amicable and effective ways to get a divorce while managing anger but many people mistakenly think they are ‘too angry’ for divorce mediation.  But, in reality, divorce mediation may even more well-suited to the individual who is ‘too angry’ because anger can drive choices for better or worse, but mediation will help protect the interests of all involved.  While anger may not be completely avoidable, there are ways to manage anger during your divorce.

1. Talk Through What is Making You Angry

Holding in anger from the circumstances around your divorce can only make you angrier.  And often, the more you hold it in, the more it grows and takes on a life of its own until you can barely remember what made you angry in the first place – you just know you are angry, about everything. Talking to a friend, family member, counselor or mediator can help you pinpoint exactly what is making you angry and begin to resolve your anger.  While certain things surrounding your divorce or about your former spouse may never completely go away, once you realize what they are you can work to avoid conflict that results in anger.

2. Stay Busy with Things You Enjoy

It is easy to get wrapped up in divorce mediation and proceedings until it feels like all you are doing.  The problem is that divorce is stressful and emotional, and you need an outlet. Exercise can boost endorphins and allow you to release some of that pent-up anger.  If you half a hobby or have always wanted to take up a hobby, now is the time.  Small distractions can make a big difference in letting out some of the steam.

3. Use an Impartial Mediator to Help You Resolve Your Anger

Anger can often drive decisions you will regret later.  Because of this, it is ideal to work with an impartial mediator who can help you make decisions that are in your best interest, talk through your frustrations and anger, and help you resolve that anger in a productive way through successful divorce mediation.

About Oliver Ross

Oliver Ross, JD*, PhD founded Out-of-Court Solutions Inc. in 1995 and since then has mediated over 3,000 divorce and family matters. He is a select member of the Maricopa Superior Court Family Mediation roster