3 Tips for Talking to Your Children About Divorce

Telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing is never easy. Whether they are toddlers or teens, and whether they are aware that this may be coming or not, it is a difficult thing to tell children because every child reacts differently. But, while it is difficult, it must be done and it should be done thoughtfully and with your children’s best interests in mind. There are 3 useful tips any parents can use to explain what is happening when divorcing to their children.

1. Speak to Children Together in a Neutral Way

No two divorces are the same and we know that not all divorces are amicable. Emotions tend to be running very high. But, if you can agree to speak to the children together, it is ideal. And, while explaining it, it is best to keep the tone neutral without playing the blame game. This is not a time to argue about your issues in front of the kids or tell them the mistakes the other has made, etc.

2. Keep Your Explanation Simple & Age Appropriate

When telling your children you are divorcing, it is important to keep the explanation child-friendly and to use age-appropriate language. While it is a mature and complex subject, don’t use big words they cannot understand. And, pause throughout to ask if they understand what you are saying. It is also a good idea to explain logistical things like where each parent will be living and where the child will be living due to the change.

3. Keep Calm

When you are telling your children that you are divorcing, it is best for their mental and emotional well-being that you remain as calm as possible. Things like screaming, arguing, or crying will upset everyone involved and can lead to blaming each other or oversharing about problems in front of children which they do not need during this confusing time. If you are calm, your child will have a chance to feel their own feelings and ask questions.

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