5 Prenuptial Agreement Tips to Consider

There are situations where prenuptial agreements address bona fide concerns that can derail a relationship, such as how to raise children from a previous relationship. A family with significant assets may require a prenup for their children before allowing them to get married, and the future spouses may comply just to keep family peace. While this contract can reduce financial pressures in the relationship and end up enhancing the marriage, finances are a central aspect of a relationship. An overblown agreement can paralyze a marriage before it even starts. If you are contemplating a prenup, here are a few ideas for tactfully proposing the subject.

1. Be Sensitive to Negotiations

Prenuptial agreements are one way to have an open and honest discussion about financial expectations before getting married. However, even if you have discussed the idea of a prenup, don’t assume your partner ever intended to sign one. Sometimes, people are offended by the document because it may imply a lack of trust. You need to handle the conversation delicately and be willing to negotiate the terms. Also, be mindful that prenups do not guarantee the elimination of divorce court battles.

2. Be Compassionate Toward Hurt Feelings

Bringing up the idea of a prenup is tough, but thoughtfully addressing the discussion can promote a productive negotiation. Remember that you are preparing to wed your partner for life, so be sensitive to his or her feelings about signing the contract. For many people, just the idea of one may feel similar to planning a divorce.

3. Be Aware of Power Imbalances

In many instances, prenups are useful in situations where one partner has considerably more property and assets than the other person. This situation can lead to an imbalanced negotiation process. Be aware of perceived leverage and power inequalities, and try to discuss them openly. Otherwise, the final document may be viewed as coercive.

4. Be Aware that Prenuptial Agreements Vary

A prenup is intended to protect assets brought into the relationship. If you don’t have any yet, this type of agreement may be unnecessary. In a standard contract, couples decide together how to share expenses. Topics of discussion include if bank accounts will be joint or separate and if one spouse will stay at home with future children. The best candidates are those with kids from a prior marriage.

5. Be Willing to Consider Mediation

Divorce mediators are professionals who can help couples negotiate a prenup. They have years of experience understanding what contributes to failed and successful marriages. Usually, a significant portion of a prenuptial agreement deals with divorce, making a divorce mediator the best person to help the couple determine workable and fair provisions if the relationship ends.

Engaging the skills of a trained mediator can be a particularly effective way of negotiating items in a prenuptial agreement. The mediator can also address key issues and focus on achieving a mutually beneficial outcome. Hiring a mediator doesn’t imply that you can’t communicate without each other. It just indicates that you care enough about your relationship to enlist help from a professional.