Signs Divorce Might be Right For You
Deciding if a divorce is right for you can be an extremely difficult and strenuous determination. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship can result in prolonged feelings of loneliness, resentment, and/or despair. Therefore, becoming aware of the common reasons for divorce can help you in considering whether divorce is actually in your best interest. Although these signs are not an exhaustive or conclusive list, many are common in marriages that eventually result in divorce.
Lack of Trust. Trust is the cornerstone of every good relationship. Without trust a relationship lacks a foundation and generally does not survive. Many longer lasting relationships start with some degree of trust. However, this trust can erode or be destroyed due to consistent lying, deception, or unfaithfulness. Many couples also find that once trust in a relationship has been lost it is very difficult, if not impossible, to rebuild. If you cannot trust your partner it may be a sign that you consider obtaining professional divorce help.
Arguments. Arguments are a normal part of any relationship. Couples that use arguments as a way to learn about one another and adapt to each other’s behaviors can become better at resolving their future conflicts. However, when arguments become too frequent or are excessively severe a relationship can be difficult to maintain. Frequent arguments can be a result of a number of underlying issues including mistrust, resentment, discontentment or insecurity. As time progresses, if the underlying issue(s) are not addressed arguments will most likely continue and may even become more frequent or severe. Arguments that generally involve the same or similar issue(s) may also indicate a fundamental difference in values. If you are experiencing frequent arguments in your marriage it may be a sign that you should consider getting divorced.
Discontentment. As relationships progresses one, or both, partners can become discontent with the marriage. Feelings of discontent can arise for various reasons and can lead to arguments, feelings of insecurity, resentment, or unfaithfulness. Although periods of discontentment are normal, if the feeling becomes prolonged it can be a sign that you are no longer interested in maintaining the relationship. Often marriages that involve one or both partners harboring prolonged discontentment result in divorce and separation.
Different Priorities. Marriages are generally entered into with both partners having an idea of what the other prioritizes in their life. However, it is not uncommon to misunderstand a partner’s priorities, or for priorities to change. A change in priorities can be due to a life event or be gradual over time, but often can have detrimental effect on a marriage. When couples differ in what they want out of the relationship, the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial. Couples in relationships that have different and conflicting priorities may experience feelings of disdain, resentment, or anger toward one another. If you and your partner no longer share priorities that are compatible it may be a sign you should consider getting a divorce.
There are many other causes of divorce, but divorcing couples generally find at least one of the signs above present in their relationship. Becoming aware of these signs may help in determining if divorce is the right decision for you. Although difficult, knowing when to divorce at the right time can benefit both you and your partner in the long run.
Jeffrey Ross, Esq.
