Should You Change Your Last Name After Divorce Mediation? How to Decide

What’s in a name?  Well, a lot.  For many women, when they marry their husbands they opt to take their husbands last name.  It is a symbolic shedding of their family name by birth and joining a new family by taking a new family name.  This symbolic gesture is beautiful when marrying but, if you have recently been divorced, it can be a frustrating lingering connection and reminder of your ex.  Even in the most amicable of divorces, there is still painful emotions from the divorce process.  Additionally, many women want to have a fresh start but moving forward with your ex’s last name may be difficult if you are constantly associated with him.

Many women struggle with the decision to change their last name for a number of reasons.  One of the most significant reasons women struggle with whether or not to change their last name is if their children bear their father’s last name.  It may seem like a minor thing if your children have a different last name as you, but it can cause some problems.  If there is a medical emergency or issue at school, you and your children having different last names can cause confusion, slow the process down or just be frustrating.  While this will not be a constant problem, it could arise.  Some people opt to change their last name and hyphenate their children’s last name after divorce to cut down on confusion.  Additionally, if you have built a career around your name, it may be difficult to change your name now for professional purposes.  The best way to go about a name change is to get out ahead of it.  Inform everyone right away that your name has changed and begin changing things like credit cards, bank accounts and accounts with businesses so that you do not hit any frustrating or embarrassing walls.  If you are choosing to change your name, you will need to get somewhat thick-skinned and build up some courage to correct people, politely, when they get it wrong.  It is inevitable that someone will mistakenly call you by your old name so you need to be prepared to remind them your name has changed rather than let it pass by.  During the divorce process, it is possible to get a change of name order in yoru divorce decree.  This will make things much easier when changing your name, and much more quick.  When changing your name after divorce, it is important to do your due diligence so that you do not run into major problems.  The IRS points out that if you do not file the proper paperwork, you could run into problems with your tax return as well, ” If you changed your name as a result of a recent marriage or divorce you’ll want to take the necessary steps to ensure the name on your tax return matches the name registered with the Social Security Administration. A mismatch between the name shown on your tax return and the SSA records can cause problems in the processing of your return and may even delay your refund.”  Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to change your last name is a deeply personal one and one that should be given much thought and consideration.    Consider your career, family relationships, children and personal life when making the choice and choose what is best for you now and in the future.