Reducing Conflict in a Divorce

If you’re considering a divorce, you are probably no stranger to conflict already. Frequent arguments and ongoing tension were probably some of the elements that led to the marital problems that have you thinking about divorce now. Does this mean you have to put up with even more stress and conflict when you’re going through the process of divorce?  The answer is “no”. Although stress is a normal byproduct of divorce – as it is with any major life change –it is possible to go through the process with a minimum of conflict.

Of course, the extent to which you can minimize conflict greatly depends on you and your spouse’s willingness to cooperate with each other and try to make the process as smooth as possible. Several common factors usually cause conflict during the divorce process. These include the division of marital property, allocation of debts, child support, parenting agreements and time sharing arrangements for any minor children, and spousal support considerations.

In some instances, you will be unable to reach an agreement on your own and will need the help of a divorce lawyer to sort out your disputes in court. However, divorce mediation is becoming extremely popular as a lower-cost and lower-conflict way to end a marriage. More and more people are recognizing the benefits of mediation, even if it seems like they will never agree on some terms.

During mediation, a neutral third party – the mediator – will sit with you and your spouse to assist in helping you and your spouse resolve any of your conflicts and disagreements. Mediation sessions can be extremely effective, because mediators are trained in dispute resolution methods, making compromises and helping people see each other’s points of view. You and your spouse may be able to come to an agreement on the major dispute points of your divorce in only a few sessions, thus streamlining the divorce process and greatly reducing the stress and conflict you feel.

Mediation can also be beneficial to children. Kids acutely feel the pain of their parents’ divorce, especially after Mom and Dad have split up but the arguing continues. When a mediator is able to help you come to agreements without the court’s intervention, it sends a strong message to children about how to work with each other even if you don’t agree. Additionally, the conflict resolution lessons you are apt to learn during mediation can help you continue to cooperate after the divorce in Coparenting your children.

No divorce is ever easy, but mediation can help make the process a little better for everyone involved.