Long-Term Marriages and Divorce

Divorce is difficult, and often painful, under the best of circumstances. However, when a couple have been married for over 20 years, the emotions are often heightened when this long-lasting relationship ends. Furthermore, there are often unique financial issues to consider. “Grey divorce” is a term referring to an increasing divorce rate for older couples in long-lasting marriages. According to research by Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin at Bowling Green State University, one out of every four people experiencing divorce in the United States is 50 or older, and nearly one in 10 is 65 or older.

Many of the issues remain the same during any divorce, regardless of the length of the marriage or age of the couple. For example, every couple must decide how to divide assets such as bank accounts and retirement, and how to allocate debts, such as credit card accounts and other loans. Some things need not be discussed at all during a “Grey divorce;” for example, it is less likely that there will be minor children, and thus parenting decisions and child support are usually not at issue.

Spousal maintenance, or “alimony,” is often an important consideration in long term marriages. Courts are more likely to order Spousal Maintenance in lengthier marriages, if the couple has a substantial difference in incomes. For older couples, spousal maintenance is not seen so much as “rehabilitative” as it is more permanent (though it may be modified once the payor reaches retirement age). In a younger couple, spousal maintenance may be ordered for a short duration while the under-earning spouse takes steps to begin to provide for him or herself, such as through advancing one’s education or job skills. However, if one spouse has never worked during a long-term marriage, he or she would be likely to experience a precipitous drop in his or her standard of living for the remainder of his or her life without support from the other spouse, which is why Courts are more likely to order Spousal Maintenance in these cases.

Older couples are closer to retirement age. Thus, there are fewer years left of earning potential and a greater need to rely on retirement savings. However, during a divorce, retirement savings will be cut in half, and thus this has a significant financial impact on both parties.
Considerations regarding real property are often different in long-term marriages. There is a higher likelihood that older couples have paid off their home and have no mortgage; thus in a situation in which one spouse “buys out” the other’s equity, the “buy out” amount will likely be much higher and thus creates issues about whether/how the spouse keeping the home will pay this amount, since refinancing isn’t an option with no existing lien. In another scenario, if the couple decides to sell their home, each party will likely receive a significant amount of equity.

Though minor children are usually not involved, there are often issues regarding post high school costs and other financial support for adult children. This, and other issues, can be explored with an experienced mediator who has backgrounds in both law and psychology, to help the divorcing couple make decisions that feel fair to both parties.