Common Divorce Mistakes & How to Avoid Them

Divorce can be a tricky situation to navigate.  There are emotions, finances, anger, children, and assets involved that all require a lot of attention.  When going through the divorce process, it can be overwhelming to sort everything out, especially if things are contentious.  With so much at stake, and so many emotions riding high, it is easy for someone to make a mistake when getting a divorce.  But, even seemingly small mistakes can cost big during divorce so it is best to try to plan ahead and make an effort to avoid them.  Below we discuss common divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.

• Overly Updating Social Media
  • Social media is a common part of society today and virtually everyone posts updates about their lives from what they ate for breakfast to what gym they are at. These may seem like innocuous updates but, in fact, constantly updating your social media may come back to bite you in the end. If you post every night out at the club, or a picture of you drinking, or other updates a timeline can be formed of your whereabouts and that timeline can be used against you in divorce proceedings. Additionally, anything that may look compromising can be used against you, especially when determining custody of children. It is also important to avoid badmouthing your soon to be ex. Not only do your friends and family not really want to hear about it on social media, but this too can be used against you in court.
• Using Your Lawyer as a Therapist
  • While discussing details about your divorce with your lawyer, it may be tempting to complain about the struggles of divorce. From frustration with your soon to be ex, to how your kids are doing, and to division of assets, it is easy to blur the lines and start talking about your problems with your lawyer. While some of these things may be pertinent to your case, avoid going on and on and using your lawyer like a sounding board or therapist. Not only are they not trained as mental health professionals, they are also billing you by the hour and all that time you spent complaining was costing you a lot of money.
• Lying About Finances
  • When it comes to finances and divorce, everyone wants to hang onto every penny. Nobody wants an unfair financial settlement and people are always trying to ensure they get as much of the money as possible. Because of this, people are often tempted to lie about finances or try to conceal things in an attempt to gain more financially out of the divorce than they would have otherwise. The truth always outs itself and if it comes to light that you have lied, you could face serious penalties.
• Not Keeping Meticulous Records
  • Whether or not you are organization-minded, now is the time to keep immaculate records of everything. Ensure that you have all necessary documents, financial statements, phone records, bills, tax records, etc. These things will all play an important role in your divorce and without these things you ex could lie – and get away with it – because you did not keep detailed records of things.
• Using Your Children as Pawns
  • If you and your soon to be ex have children together, it is important to make the divorce process as easy as possible for them. This means that you cannot make them choose sides, bad mouth each other in front of them or use them as pawns to one-up each other during the divorce. Threatening to limit visitation or making unreasonable custody demands is a sure-fire way to create problems for your children that will last long after the divorce has been finalized.
• Overlooking Mediation
  • When you begin the divorce process, it may seem appealing to lawyer-up as quickly as possible but there are other options. Hiring a lawyer to get a divorce is very expensive and not always the most effective route. Divorce mediation is a much less expensive route that is often more effective than hiring a lawyer independently. Through mediation, a respectful dialogue will be had about everyone’s feelings and concerns so that a mutually agreed-upon solution can be met. In addition to saving a lot of money, it can also save a lot of time.