How to Deal with Conflict When Going Through a Tough Divorce
Almost everyone enters into a marriage with the expectation it’ll last forever. However, the reality is that divorce may be a realistic possibility. One characteristic that’s common to almost all couples that are splitting up is conflict. It’s crucial to understand how to keep conflict at bay as much as possible and also handle it responsibly when it arises.
Work With a Professional Mediator
Friends can be useful allies when a marriage is on the rocks, but it’s usually much more worthwhile for both you and your partner to meet with a mediation specialist throughout your divorce. That individual can help identify psychodynamics that may not be immediately apparent to the person who is displaying them.
Professional guidance is also powerful because without mediation, the people involved may not realize they are expecting too much from the other party, which is causing resentment.
Think of Conflict as an Opportunity
Conflicts are almost always uncomfortable, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are without true benefits. For example, conflict usually creates situations that are filled with risks, but they may also create the conditions that need to occur in order for you or your spouse to step out of a comfort zone and do something that ultimately causes more stability for one or both parties. Try to have an opportunistic mindset when weighing conflicts.
Understand Your Usual Type of Response
There are both harmful and worthwhile ways to respond to discourse, and it’s very valuable to know how you tend to respond to tension. Some people hate drama so much that they unintentionally avoid it by agreeing to things they don’t actually accept.
On the other hand, maybe there are things you characteristically do that make conflicts worse. Identifying and recognizing the way you respond is very useful, especially when meeting with a mediator during a divorce. Identification and recognition can help you make good progress.
Remember to Listen
When conversations are fierce, it can be very hard to be aware of the importance of listening to what your partner has to say about matters. There is often such a perceived pressure to put all your thoughts on the table, but being careful to listen to opposing dialogue can teach you many lessons, both about how you’re reacting to the issues at hand, and the possible ways you could improve moving forward.
If you’re in the midst of a divorce, conflict is nearly guaranteed. Fortunately, the tips you just read can help you manage it in a healthy way that resolves the strife rather than allowing it to gain momentum.