Ideas for Popping the Prenuptial Question
Ideas for Popping the Prenuptial Question
You’ve found the one you want to go through life with, and you’re pretty sure he/she feels the same. You’ve got butterflies in your stomach, but they’re not about whether your potential spouse will say “yes.” The butterflies are there because you have another question, one that you’re asking yourself: “When and how should I approach the topic of a prenuptial agreement?”
When is the Best Time?
Objectively, the best time to broach the subject is as soon as you begin feeling like getting married. But love is not objective, and asking that question before the proposal may just suck the romance right out of the courtship and could even start a fight. But you can’t wait to ask it until the reception hall has been decorated and the caterer arrives with the cake, either.
So, it would seem that the best time is after the proposal but before any wedding planning. It might be helpful to focus on the document as a commitment to try working out any conflicts instead of immediately moving to a divorce. The trend in many jurisdictions is to require mediation prior to a court hearing or trial, a step that eases some of the strain on backlogged courts, as well as helping both parties save big legal fees.
Why Seek a Prenuptial Agreement?
The purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to safeguard the interests of both parties (financial and otherwise) should the marriage end. Some of the reasons for considering the agreement include:
- One of you may have a much larger amount of assets than the other
- One of you earns a lot more money than the other
- Your partner has a substantial amount of debt
- One of you plan to quit work to stay at home and raise a family
- One of you may get a substantial inheritance
- You own a business or are a partner in one
- One or both were previously married
- One or both have children with a previous partner
How to Begin a Conversation
Along with the question of whether you want children together, you’ll need to discuss a variety of issues dealing with money, such as having joint or separate checking and savings accounts, the amount of debt each of you have accrued, that type of thing. These less-stressful topics give you the opportunity to expand the subject and bring up the topic of a prenuptial agreement.
Additional Questions You Should Ask
Now that you’re talking about finances, there are plenty of additional topics to discuss as a couple. How will you handle money and debts or, to put it another way, who pays for what? Will you name each other as beneficiaries of your life insurance and put both names on the home loan and so on?
A prenuptial agreement is as unique as the couple who draw it up. In it, you have a framework for your financial life together. Should that ever end, then you’ll also have a legal document that serves as the foundation for separating your lives fairly, and one that will save you hundreds, possibly thousands, of dollars in legal fees.
