The Importance of Grieving in Divorce

Grief is a natural part of life, unfortunately, but we typically don’t choose things that bring us grief if at all avoidable. But, in the case of marriage, sometimes despite causing potential grief to yourself and family, divorce may be the best or only option. Even if you truly want a divorce, there is a natural grieving process that is hard to avoid. And, more importantly, for your mental and emotional health, it should not be avoided. Allowing yourself (and your spouse and/or children) to experience grief is actually an important part of the healing and moving on process.

Divorce can bring as much grief as a death because, in many ways, it is similar to a death. It is the death of a life you dreamed of or planned for, if children are involved it is the death of a family structure you and they know, and it is the end of a relationship with someone you loved. When you separate you are possibly separating from your spouse’s family that you may have loved as your own, holidays and events will look very different, friendships may change or end, routines you were used to will likely change, you may have to find a new home, and even the amount you work or where you work may change. That is a lot of major life changes all at once – anyone would grieve that.

Fortunately, working with a mediator can help you, your spouse, and your children address grief – no matter what stage you might be on, and help you ensure that grief does not impact your decision making during divorce. It. Is important to also note that rarely are two spouses in the same stage of grief at the same time during divorce so a mediator can help you navigate that while minimizing conflict. Divorce mediation is one of the most effective ways to help address and mitigate grief during the divorce process so speak to an experienced and knowledgeable counselor to learn more if you are considering divorce.

What are the five stages of divorce grieving?


Every person experiences denial after their divorce. It is a numbing response imposed by the refusal to acknowledge the loss of a person. This denial will last only a limited period of time. However, denial protects individuals from the shock and pain of a separation. It creates a protective response to confront emotional, physical and other tasks. This mature acknowledge of the pain and loss may prevent them making any non-ideal decisions. The refusal to accept the situation may interfere with critical life decisions.


This stage serves to energize people after an emotional break from their partner. People will experience intense feelings of fear and uncertainty. Anger is the mechanism to tackle these motions and deal with the enormity of losses. However, individuals should restrict themselves from exhibiting their anger towards ex-partners or children.


In this stage, partners bargain to make the marriage work. These attempts are essential to gain control over detrimental circumstances. Bargaining will help partners with their relationship. They need counseling during this period of separation and can even opt for renewal programs. However, there are some risks involved in this bargain stage.


The phase of depression involves struggling through denial, anger, and some kind of bargaining. People need the inevitable realization from the loss of marriage. They also experience sadness and regret, along with the critical part of grieving. Since sadness is necessary for this process, people need to grieve and heal from divorce.

What are the tips of divorce grievance?

First, people should understand the reality of their situation. Accepting the separation will allow them to start their emotional development. Most importantly, they can focus on important life commitments. They could even term with the facts and consequences of legal separation.


Divorce grieving takes time. Some people take months to recover, while others need years. However, people should encourage themselves to deal with sadness, grief, anger, and guilt. All these feelings are associated with the loss. Therefore, they get to heal in a natural and healthy way. If necessary, they can gather support from others.


The importance of self-care is vital in divorce grieving. People should get eat well, sleep, and involve in physical exercises. All these activities take physical efforts. Mediating and wellness classes will also help in such situations to get happier over time.

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